Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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