one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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