I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
