That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
