I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
