First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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