I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
