I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
