there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
