Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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