I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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