New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
