i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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