and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
