the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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