I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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