the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
