Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
