Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
