soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
