I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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