im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
