Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
