I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Your cock deserves a montage
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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