I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
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