Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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