What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I got inside last night via doggy door
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
