Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
