On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
