The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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