Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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