yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
