You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
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