omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
