We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
