The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
