Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
