dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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