I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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