It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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