My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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