Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
