I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
