; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Will you blow on my dice?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
