Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
