a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
