Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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