So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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