He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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