She said her name was "party"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
this will be a night to untag.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
